i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
