Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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