I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
