And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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