Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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