What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
