he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
