spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
