i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
