:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
