She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
