Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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