I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
