why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
