Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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