Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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