I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
