oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
