He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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