Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
