Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
