He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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