yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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