worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
