I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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