There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
