awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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