She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
