Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
