I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
