Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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