she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
