i dont even know how to be here
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
