margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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