Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize