Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
