So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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