there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
