somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
