Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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