She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
