when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
