i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
