I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
