is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
