Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
