i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
