Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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