I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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