he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
