Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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