Ambien. No doubt about it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
