K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
